


The Vampire and the Assassin

by LadyLustful



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crossover Pairings, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 06:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9478676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLustful/pseuds/LadyLustful
Summary: The one wherein William Pratt, recently turned vampire, meets Jacob Frye, assassin, and begins a rather intimate relationship.Crack without plot.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [invisible_cities](https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_cities/gifts).



**Meeting Evie**

"Jacob? What are these two little wounds on your neck?" Evie Frye asked her brother one morning.

"Umm... Err..." Jacob began.

At that moment a pale, blonde man with sharp cheekbones chose to walk out of Jacob's room, half-dressed.

"Don't believe everything that bloody prick Stoker says, darling. Actually, don't believe any of it. I don't own him a hundred pounds either. Ow!"

The latter was because Evie had grabbed him by surprise, slammed him against the wall and pressed her hidden blade directly against his throat.

"I don't know or care who Stoker is or what he says, but if you hurt my brother, or even try to, you'll soon find yourself buried in twenty different places around London."

"Jesus, Evie. That's William, and he's a friend. Of the rather intimate kind. Er, very intimate kind."

"I should rather say so", blonde, pale and annoying snickered. "After all the things we did last night."

 

**The So-Called Evil**

"So, you're a vampire. An undead, blood-drinking, supposedly soulless demon who cannot go out into the sunlight."

"Forgive me, Miss Frye, you do not really seem surprised." She really doesn't. More like tired and exasperated.

"I'm really not. I'm a member of a secret organisation fighting an order that's supposedly long gone, for artefacts from a godlike civilisation that isn't supposed to have existed. Normalcy is extermely relative under such conditions."

"And you are not ... say, outraged, by my... relationship with your brother?"

"Well, I'm not exactly  thrilled, but at least you're not a bloody Templar."

"Hey, that was one time!", protests Jacob.

"At least two", counters Evie flatly.

"Fine, two", Jacob sullenly agrees.

"...that I know of", finishes Evie. "The point is, my brother has a notoriously poor taste in people, and I fear it is beyond help. And you are, well, tolerable for a blood-sucking demon. That said, if you hurt him, I will still bury you in twenty separate places. Are we clear?"

"Crystal, darling. Except, what the hell is a bloody Templar?"

 

 

 


End file.
